HELLO FROM THE OTHER SIDE

13 Reasons Why Sexism Needs To End

By Saara Mowlana

Womxn receive overwhelming levels of flak for existing on the daily. From being body and tone policed, to constantly being kept in check by silent womxnhood standards of a dangerous, patriarchally-dense past and present. Womxn had to fight for voting and working rights, and are still treated unequally – with warped pay standards between men and womxn and casual sexism. Which, if a womxn points out, they become an ovary-actor. The diet sexism stirred into your morning coffee chats with family or friends, or used as chloroform to silence the female presence in any room needs to be flushed down the drain with the rest of the grime.

Below are some of the infamous and casually sexist things womxn hear regularly, which have been flipped to their male equivalent:

  1. Have some modesty, your bra strap is showing.

Have some modesty, your boxer is showing.

This is used so often in the policing of womxn bodies and how they are clothed. Because a strap of *gasp* cloth peeking out by a girl’s shoulder or even on the shoulder itself is just so darn tempting. “There goes my entire male ego, dreams and education out of the window, because Jemma’s bra strap in front of me is intentionally peeking out in a feat of sabotage.”  Nah boy, gain some basic self-control. You are not exempt from checking yourself first. Womxn could complain that your boxer elastic poking out of your jeans distracted them from getting good grades, but we don’t, because that’s irrational.

  1. You eat a lot, for a girl.

You eat a lot, for a boy.

Yes, because apparently womxn aren’t meant to eat actual meals three times a day. BLASPHEMY, I say! Heaven forbid, you indulge slightly more than usual. Wow, slow your roll(s) there Ms Piggy. This is the kind of thing you wouldn’t hear being told to male counterparts. Why? Because they’re taught from adolescence they need to eat all the foods to grow big and strong. Meanwhile, as girls transition into womxn, they’re expected to eat less – can this nonsense please take a nice, big step to the left, to the left. Mental health comes hand in hand with physical health, womxn need their nutrients too, Bob.

  1. You should probably settle down, your biological clock is ticking.

You should really settle down, you’re losing too many babies to socks.

Ah, wow, I never knew a womxn’s uterus concerned you so much, unless of course they yell period and watch as you scatter and protest in disgust. Nobody is this concerned over the possible declining sperm count in men because, by these standards, womxn are solely responsible for wanting and having offspring. Check yourself and see if the shoe fits, dirty socks and all, before saying things that are, literally, no business of yours.

  1. Always a bridesmaid, never a bride.

Always a best man, never a groom.

Another infamous line tossed around to shame womxn who aren’t married, and perpetuate the ideology that a womxn’s main goal in life ought to be marriage. Sorry Andrea if you dreamed of having a career empire but, do you even have a man? As if womxn only matter if they have a man with their plans. Eish. Last I checked, the aunties at gatherings have never asked the single male family members this. No, instead they rave about the male’s academic or professional success.

  1. You’re not taking your husband’s last name?

You’re not taking your wife’s last name?

Once again, not really your business or problem, Bob. If a womxn wants to keep the surname she’s grown up with ALL her life and has on ALL of her legal documentation, that is her choice and identity. Yes, womxn have those too, Bobby.

  1. Does your husband mind that you make more money than him?

Does your wife mind that you make more money than her?

As if unequal pay isn’t a fluff up enough for male egos, if your wife earns more it suddenly becomes a red flag. Because wow, Linda, the man is supposed to provide, that is so emasculating. Actually, it is 1. empowering and 2. a blessing, Bob. If a womxn is able to provide and flourish so much that it takes some burden off of her man, then that is as good a thing as it would be if the roles were reversed to its normative style. Stop trying to put womxn down by shaming them for succeeding, pls. stahp.

  1. You’re really good at sports, for a girl.

You’re really good at sports, for a boy.

You could be a professional MMA fighter, but if you’re a womxn, many men complimenting your skill will make sure you are aware of your gender. As if being a girl or womxn means you should automatically struggle with sports and athletic things. I’ve seen guys with weaker punches than a lot of womxn I know. Physical strength and athletic skill does not determine your masculinity or femininity. Sit your impolite, couch-sport-watching butt down, please.

  1. You throw/ run/ punch like a girl.

You throw/ run/ punch like a boy.

Your confidence in your masculinity is so weak that you need to break down womxn to make yourself feel better? Womxn and girls can be just as strong and in some cases stronger than their male counterparts.

  1. Working mom? Aren’t you neglecting your kids, then?

Working dad? Aren’t you neglecing your kids, then?

This again places the success or failure of a family and the raising thereof on the shoulders of the womxn alone, when in fact it should be a mutual responsibility – if both parents are in the picture. It also shames single moms who need to solely provide for the family, as if working to support your family is such an outrageous and neglectful thing to do.

  1. Womxn always complain.

Men always complain.

This is the famous line used to shut womxn up. Because womxn are always complaining and loud and shouting, even though it’s been statistically proven that men speak more than womxn and are quoted more often than womxn. So, who are the ones really complaining and yelling misandry and not all men the minute womxn bring up systematic sexist issues they face?

  1. May I speak to the man of the house/ your husband?

May I speak to the womxn of the house/ your wife?

Maybe she lives alone. Maybe she’s the head of the house. Maybe she is important enough for being the one who answered the phone or the door that she can convey any messages herself. Just maybe hey, Bobby boi.

 

  1. Men are just stronger than womxn, womxn are too emotional. 

Womxn are just stronger than men, men are too irrational.

Another slap in the face line many men like to use when womxn bring up sexism and systemic issues facing womxn. Don’t be so emotional, Sally. Lighten up, it was a joke. That guy in the street meant you have a nice ass as a compliment, maybe you shouldn’t be so uptight. No. Just no.

  1. What kind of woman doesn’t know how to cook?

What kind of man doesn’t know how to cook?

First of all, if you want to be independent and have basic survival skills, you need to know how to cook – like, fry an egg, make toast, make a salad and what have you. Why do so many assume that cooking is solely reserved for womxn and as a female responsibility. Soz, Bob, but if you’re stranded, what are you going to do? Use sexist remarks as meal replacements?

And now, cue the best line that will possibly follow the reactions on this piece: not all men, this is misandry. K, Bob, k.

 

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