Don’t be THAT Guy at the Gym

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By Taalia Crawley

This article is exclusive to the online Edition 3 of VARSITY Newspaper.


A guide to never looking like the resident douche in your local gym and always being the (conservative) trend setter in your daily workouts:


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Avoid string or low-cut tank tops at all costs

Too vain for a shirt; too “humble” to go shirtless. The neckline isn’t the most ridiculous part of these muscle-man modified tanks – it’s that the shirt is barely there below the arms.

The fitted shirt is your friend

Clothing that is a little more fitted will also give you a more aesthetic appeal. Show off those New Year’s resolutions a little bit, while still looking decent. Take pride in the fact that you have put in the hours, work, and sweat.

Leave the colognes (and other fragrances) at home

When men wear cologne it tends to be all or nothing. 5-10 sprays for a workout at the gym? Your perfume-marinated sweat is most likely inducing headaches around the gym. It is inconsiderate, especially to those who have a stronger and more sensitive sense of smell. Not to mention that you are wasting good cologne as you will have to hit the shower after your workout anyway.

Too-old gym shorts (and way too tight)

It’s not just how tight it is, it’s that their defence against bulges has thinned to almost nothing. It’s one thing to wear shorter shorts in order to keep your boys under control for certain exercises. It is another thing to subject the entire gym to a view of your junk because you won’t spring for shorts with a little more support. If form fitting pants are what you’re after, maybe get some joggers or tights.

Way-too-big shorts

There is loose fitting, there is baggy and then there are these monstrosities. If you’re pulling it up every 2 seconds, you should go buy some pants that actually fit. This is most important for correcting your form, especially on that dreaded leg-day. There’s no way you can correct your squat if you can’t even see your legs under all that material.

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We’re all out here to better ourselves when we head to the gym. We all strive to be the best we can be. Don’t be that guy who ruins the place for everyone. Always remember that no matter how muscular you become: Be humble.

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