Senior Editorial

Katy Scott

For those of you that don’t know, things are a changing at VARSITY. That stunning Indian chic from page 5 is the new Editor-in-Chief. The lovely lady beneath me (our trusty copy-ed) has been bumped up to fill this column space as the new Deputy Editor. And as for me, well I’ll be on my way now. So I wrote a poem. (Sorry.) This one goes out to my biggest fan.

Katy Scott

Context on the "From the mouth of a UCT SuperCare Cleaner" feature from edition 10.

Katy Scott

Well I’m sorry to tread on your grad gown (and for my crassness) but we do not know shit.

Laurie Scarborough

Over many years I have had to learn how to play COD (yes, I’m down with the geeky lingo), Super Meat Boy, Portal and Rage, even when my hand was cramping around the Xbox controller and it became a weird claw-like appendix. I’ve been subject to randomised quizzes about who created the first ever first-person shooter (Id, for those who care), and what the acronyms FPS, AFK, IRL, GG and LAN stand for.

Katy Scott

The bell rings for break time at a primary school just around the corner. Books and pens fly into the air as girls and boys bullet toward the playground. A game begins. The girls screech and scurry away as the boys run after them with arms outstretched. Once a boy catches a girl he pins her down on the ground and pretends to rape her for 10 to 20 seconds while she screams and writhes, trying to get away.

In “rape rape”, once a girl has been “raped” she is out of the game. The game finishes when every girl has been raped, only to start again next break time.

Laurie Scarborough

Exam stress is mounting and your life is feeling more and more like a sad and boring movie about people who die from never leaving the library. The thought of something, anything, to save you from such a fate is not just appealing but seemingly necessary. The little white wonder pill of concentration floats across your mind’s eye like the acorn in Ice Age (you are the squirrel in this scenario) and you see yourself in a field of clouds bounding in slow motion, a dreamy smile stretched across your face, towards the magical pill sitting upon a silver silk cushion. Your problems will soon be over.

Katy Scott

I stand with my mouth hanging as, “Would you like a bag?” becomes the most perplexing question I have had to answer all week. Do I want a bag? What do I even want, really?

Laurie Scarborough

I've never really been one for make-up besides the odd special occasion, and now that it takes me fifteen minutes to only partially take off the mask, I don’t know how people do this every day.

Katy Scott

So out of sheer boredom I decided to piece together the Tweets of a handful of SRC members to create a little story. No SRC members were, or will be, hurt in the process (I hope).

Laurie Scarborough

Does getting out of bed on one public holiday every five years to scribble a cross next to the party you oppose least really make a difference?

Katy Scott

Eventually you are so comfortable in this habit that your brain programs itself to operate against the deadline. You have conditioned it to think that it can only function optimally when you burn the midnight oil.

Laurie Scarborough

After reading the manifestos for the nine parties expected to come out tops in terms of seats at National Assembly, I was left bored and sad. But mainly bored. After a while all the manifestos started sounding the same. Access to health care this. Quality education that. Stop corruption. Police brutality. Crime. Sickness. Poverty. Sadness.

Katy Scott

I’ve got a question for you: Why the hell are you here?

Laurie Scarborough

There are still people who think that ballet is some kind of holiday retreat for fairies. Well it’s not. So for those of you who are still a little confused, lemme break it down for you.

Katy Scott

Is a naked woman’s body censored everywhere except her juicy bits, really in our best interest? No, but it sure is a helluva lot more interesting.

Laurie Scarborough

I’ve known dancers to wrap broken toes in gauze, strap on their pointe shoes (which, by the way, are made of glue and tiny pieces of wood) and perform their Sugar Plum Fairy solo for a sold-out audience. The show must go on, I guess.

Katy Scott

In a world where it is getting more and more difficult to be noticed, we find ourselves relishing in the virtual attention we receive from the pictures and posts that we publish.

Laurie Scarborough

And only a few weeks into the position I found myself curled up in a ball on the floor in an undisclosed corridor, rocking slowly (they do it in movies…thought it might help. It didn’t.) while a friend consoled me and tried to make contingency plans in case I died or killed everyone except him in a rampage.

Katy Scott

“When I found out that I was pregnant with a little girl I prayed that she would be…”

Laurie Scarborough

This weekend saw thousands of cyclists (and some crazy non-cyclists) mount their bikes and head on the 110 kilometres journey through Cape Town for the Cape Argus Cycle tour.

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